The Cure To Inceldom

Is making a woman cum with your dick. Lol.

The opposite of an incel is a vril hoarding incubus

I used to be an Incel. I would have used the term to describe myself semi-ironically at the time, but it was accurate. It was similar to how I viewed Christianity when I was an agnostic, in that even though I didn’t directly associate myself with the identity, I would still feel a need to defend those that fell under the category that I saw as under undue attack. I see myself in sexually unsuccessful men, and still do, even after modest sexual success. Therefore, I see them as worth advocating for.

Curing incels is the farthest thing from our current zeitgeist. We live in vitriolic times where identity groups are constantly at each other’s throats. The incel finds himself gravitating towards right-wing discourse, which teaches them three things.

1. Women are horrible, hypergamous carnivores who would vote for your draft into a war if you aren’t in the top 10% of men in terms of SMV

2. You must pull yourself up by the bootstraps and become this top 10% of men, otherwise you’re not fit to reproduce and oh it’s probably genetically pre-determined anyways, lol.

3. If you try to interact with women organically, you’re rather a simp, or a creepy gamma male. Or both. Women aren’t attracted to you anyways so stop trying to manifest your pathetic romanticism into anything real. That’s all I’m telling you cause sex is icky. Also don’t act vulnerable about any of this because I associate vulnerability with my attraction to women and it makes me disgusted with you because you’re not a woman.

By the way I’ve rhetorically structured these points, you can probably tell that I don’t care for them. What I do care for is solving problems and helping incels not be incels. Here is what I’ve learned.

Exposure

There has never been an easier time in history to isolate yourself. I believe that many men are incels because they are simply starved for female interaction. In that isolation, it’s very easy to let wild negative ideas substitute reality based understanding. My own personal journey out of this involved contact on my own terms. As pathetic as it sounds, this can be as simple as finding organically entertaining female streamers, and genuinely talented female musicians. The important aspect here is to not let yourself fall into the simp trap. You’re not looking for porn, you're looking for a parasocial environment that provides a meaningful substrate to relate to women organically, as people. Seek out women that you like or find endearing as people, and soak in the positive sentiments.

Confidence

Dr. Orion Taraban has a youtube video about how he got a man over his approach anxiety by having him approach 676 women within a weekend. (here’s the video, it’s pretty good)

This isn’t something I doubt works, but you might not have a Taraban handy to assist in the process of perpetually dying to yourself until you’ve finally reached trauma-induced indifference. My take on confidence is that if you don’t have it engrained into yourself by your formative years (which if you’re an incel you probably don’t), the fastest way to build confidence is to rack up positive outcomes. This includes confidence with women. The way to gain confidence with women is to rack up positive interactions with women.

The exposure phase plays a part in this, because half of the battle is having positive associations with women to some degree in the first place. There are probably many creative ways that others can think of to rack up positive interactions with women, however I’m going to focus on strip clubs.

An incel with right-wing tendencies might recoil at the idea of a strip club as a positive thing relative to their life. I can only say, do you watch porn? If so, what is the objection? Is it morality? Porn is objectively more immoral and dehumanizing than strip clubs, the only difference is your sense of comfortable detachment form the human aspect. Is it your dignity? You’re already a porn-addicted incel, your dignity is already at rock bottom. If you engage in porn, just own your perversion and listen.

Strip clubs can be a magical place. If you have no real female interaction in your life, you’re suddenly surrounded by half-naked women who are monetarily incentivized to be nice to you. There are many men who go into strip clubs without purpose, and become suckers through emotional investment. They are robbed blind by their passion, and heart-broken by women they have delusions towards. I propose a gaming of the system, where the jackpot is positive interactions with women, and nobody will kick you out for counting cards. Give out some tips, have a few drinks, maybe even get a lap dance from the chick you find most endearing and/or attractive, but don’t forget why you are here. You are not here to find a girlfriend, you already know that’s a bad idea. Talk to the girls like people. Find them interesting and endearing, it’s not hard to do. Find things to relate over. Use the monetary power differential to be confident, they will forgive a rough stumbling entry into this confidence because you are giving them money.

Stick the landing

After enough of the first two phases, you are now an incel with a changed perspective. You have the phycological framework to engage women as people, but still know enough to maintain some relatively good and smooth vibes during conversations. You should no longer see them as pedestalized goddesses, or ruthless demons. You’re ready for the final step, which is to get laid. Maybe you will have a better handle on how to navigate dating apps, maybe you will use your strip club experience to graduate to bars. Between the amount of red-pill content you’ve consumed and practical experience, you should now have a semi-decent patchwork modus operandi towards the goal of getting laid.

The point of all of this

The deepest insecurity an incel feels is that their sexuality has no value, and is therefore a pointless bestowment that only serves to make them suffer. Red-pill ideology will only re-enforce this mode of thinking, keeping the incel in a vicious circle of resentment and horniness. The key to breaking this pattern is finding a woman who not only can tolerate your sexual nature, but also values it, even just temporarily. In my opinion, the purest expression of this, and therefore the cure to inceldom, is making a woman cum with your dick. It’s incredibly simple, yet can be a Herculean challenge in our modern era.

This is not to say that making a woman cum with your dick should be taken as the single most important life goal by anybody. This is simply the most efficient solution to being an incel that I can reason. I believe it was worth articulating plainly and without dogma. So much of the discourse around these topics is mired with platitudes and obfuscation, so I thought that something like this piece is a necessary wake-up call to the people who’ve grown content in giving these uncomfortable underlying issues a wide berth.

I should end this essay by saying that I am a Christian, but a pragmatic Christian who can recognize the ailments of our modern times. If there are any other Christians with more piety and reach than I have, you’re more than welcome to write something better and more aligned with ultimate truth. So far though, you’ve all done a pretty shit job at helping young men in these spaces who struggle with this stuff.

• An article by Opium Tales that partially inspired me to write this Two boys - one with delusions of grandeur and one with self-doubt. And how they turned out as men. . .

• A note by Kryptogal (Kate, if you like) that partially inspired me to write this Ok, with this follow up, I now understand yesterday’s Cartoons Hate Her piece much better (yesterday’s confused me).